Then you find yourself going over your failure with yet the last narcissist standing in your family

This is what I've been trying to say ever since I found for sure that I could no longer be in the presence of my last narcissist (an inverted narcissist/co-dependent BORDERLINE).  I've said it a hundred times in as many different ways but the author below says it in a nutshell.

Taken from the facebook site After Narcissistic Abuse -

After Narcissistic Abuse - There is Light, Life & Love

Narcissists live in a perennial self-loathing & emotional prison.

Narcissists are unwilling to take the chance that authentically opening themselves up to another could lead to a personal fulfillment beyond anything they ever experienced in growing up.

Instead, they present others with an impenetrable facade. And the price they pay for such habitual self-protectiveness is that their wounded inner child--well-hidden beneath their carefully cultivated, false exterior--can never be healed.

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And it's an exhausting feat, turning yourself inside out to reach this person - to help them finally feel and be their true selves for the first time.  

All you want is for them to find real love - to know what you know is the most wonderful feeling in the world.  You want them to feel what it is you feel for them (the person you KNOW is them inside).  You want them to love and respect themselves and let go of the desire to abuse others in order that they themselves feel better.  

You want to have a normal easy kind of real relationship with this family member.  For once you want to not feel their oppression, ANGER, and control.  

You are finished walking on eggshells for anyone ever again, and now you have to set those all so important healthy boundaries which you know will end this so called relationship because the narcissist will react with anger and denial.  

Lastly, they will choose letting you go, over working to stop their abusive behavior.  And they will tell you that - as long as they can look in the mirror, they aren't changing a thing.  It briefly occurs to you, (Hanibal Lector can look in the mirror).

Then you find yourself going over your failure with yet the last narcissist standing in your family.  

You think how you only wanted to love the person, support them, and have a real relationship.  You remember then, their punishing your every kindness and the list of abuse that just goes on and on. (And you reassure yourself it wasn't only you who is punished. Every person in contact with the N is also constantly scrutinized and punished for even the kindest of deeds).

You ask yourself why you didn't give up on this long ago.  Then you tell yourself to shut up because it was an opportunity for good for the both of you.  

You enjoyed the person whenever they were able to fight back the urge to suck up some N supply and watch you recoil in humility, sadness, and hurt feelings.  All the while you remain open for more - trying against hope to take it until they see what they are doing to you, themselves, the relationship.  

NEVER!!  They never will see.  When will you EVER learn???  Read the sign and STOP.

Thanks, I needed that :)