Gratitude

It's important for those of us coming from dysfunctional families to know that gratitude is different from indebtedness.  Tit for tat whether for good or for bad seems to rule the dysfunctional family - an unattractive and negative practice.  And it IS a practice.  

Although we are thankful and like to return a kindness, that is not what kindness is all about.  In fact, I'd rather after a kindness extended, if you feel inclined to return the kindness, that you do it for someone other than me.  This might be the true attitude of gratitude.

Though we recognize the instrumental roles others have played in our lives, gratitude is different from indebtedness. Gratitude, which rhymes with "Attitude," comes from the Latin word gratus, which means "Thankful, Pleasing." When you feel gratitude, you're pleased by what someone did for you and also pleased by the results. Unlike indebtedness, you're not anxious about having to pay it back. But it's still great to tell the recipient of your gratitude how much they mean to you.