How to Move on as a Borderline..... Just for you who used these very search words.....

You recently asked the question:  How to move on as a borderline.

I can't tell you how thrilled I am for you that you are looking for help.  It just makes me so happy for you and your family.

Listen, my site, so far, centers on the loved ones of the borderline - and how they can move forward in life.  How, once their borderline makes it perfectly clear they are not interested in getting better, it is a must to get better themselves and move on.  But, I really want to see you find answers and relief - Help and healing...  There IS a way out.

It is great that you are looking for these answers.  You can find so much help online.  There is a woman who is a borderline and in recovery now for 20 years.  She is Excellent. Her name is A.J. Mahari.  Google her.  You will find yourself watching tons of videos first on YouTube.

She has several websites and facebook pages as well.  She lives in Canada with her significant other and their dogs and cats.  She really makes so much sense.  She speaks from the perspective of both you and your loved ones - doesn't leave a single thing out.

There are others, but to start, I'd say find A.J. Mahari.  You will eventually find even more.

You were born to or "cared for" by a person who didn't care about love, and never met your needs in infancy.  Hence, the first need - to bond with mom wasn't met.  Without that first bond, the idea even of love and intimacy has been distorted at best.  People and life have let you down.  You are misunderstood and underappreciated.  You see people in general like you saw the mother.  Like unfeeling robots who care only for themselves.

You find yourself loving someone and allowing that person's personality to blend into "yours".  You are so taken by the person.  So happy.  Your needs are on the back burner.  Your needs are not what is important to you.  You just want what you think love is.  So, you do all you can to be what this person wants.  Now he/she will love you.  Then, you begin to see nothing but flaws.  You begin to devalue everything the person says and does.  It's not your fault they are so useless.  Why is everyone you love such a loser?  They try to win back your adulation, and you push them away.  But, you don't want them to go.  You both love them and hate them.  You hate to be alone. The slightest move on their part is translated by you as abandonment.  You are angry and fearful.  You end up with this dance of black and white good and bad, and an awful on/ off relationship.  Right??

There is hope.  You CAN recover from this.  And when you do, you might find that you were attracting narcissists into your life.  They prey on folks with borderline personality disorder. You can kick that whole scene to the curb once you get your footing and your healing is under way.

This is the first step for you!  Typing in those search words and finding my site!!  Please continue to find the answers that will serve you and keep you on a healing path.

Lots of love and peace sent your way, my friend.