Answering the Question: Why do Borderlines Devalue and Hate?

Little Dustie Here isn't about to Devalue Anything 

A reader recently asked why Borderlines devalue others and hate.

I have to say that it's not so much that they hate as it is that they are afraid of the true feelings of love.  In order to avoid these feelings, or even avoid recognizing them, Borderlines push people away, punish kindness, and distort reality.

It is when Borderlines feel overwhelmed by the increasing closeness and love of others that they begin devaluing everything about the person who is trying to love them.  

This is called splitting.  In splitting, the Borderline has decided to devalue the person to the point of being all bad in his/her eyes - eventually labeling them as "difficult" and not healthy for them to keep in their life.  Usually, they project onto the loving and now confused person, their own faults - calling them toxic and unhealthy.  This way the Borderline feels free and guiltless in walking away from such a person - - - eventually, everyone.

Splitting on the other end of the spectrum is when the Borderline is lonesome and decides to see the person now as all good.  Everything about the person is just wonderful.  Until. .. You guessed it.  The person shows how much he or she cares by offering help, money, gifts, love, respect, patience - you name it.  It's all off limits to the Borderline, and the person doing so will suffer the consequences.  This must be where the saying, "No good deed goes unpunished" comes from.

Borderlines devalue everything thing except appreciation.  They want to be thanked over and over - and appreciated.  They expect a tit for tat relationship, but a little more tat.  They need you to give more.  They will tell you to and demand you do.  Then when you do, the devaluing begins.  

To the reader who asked the question.  Do yourself a favor.  If your Borderline refuses to find help  for self improvement, awareness, and growth - give up on figuring how to make them happy.  You cannot.  You will only be exhausting and hurting yourself.  Find a way to stay out of this persons life and distorted world.