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| Peggy Wheeler 1939, Child Psychopath |
The experiences kept prodding me inside my head, and I kept choosing not to give them power. Then I came upon a Dr. Phil episode where he finally has the nerve to interview a diagnosed sociopath. Bam that was it. I listened to this woman for 20 minutes and knew right then and there what my blogpost would be about.
This woman said she does a lot of bad and mean things, but the best and most rewarding is when she is just about to destroy a person. Nothing compares to the feeling she gets from doing this to others. The power she thinks she has is displayed in the person's demise, including all the talk and whispers of her unwitting accomplices and supporters. The more awful the person looks to others, the better she looks to those same others. Always in destroying someone or even just their brain, the sociopath shines as the all powerful all knowing, so put together 'onlooker' or relative who cares. "But clearly the person is in need of a lot of help". (Great line N's, S's, and P's use all the time). As in, "I don't".
That's the NM at age four pictured in the above photograph. A spoiled, well cared for - very loved child.. There she is with her dolly and doll house build by my Grandpa, William Krapf in Long Island, NY in 1939 not long after the Great Depression and the abduction and murder of the Lindbergh baby.
This child would go on to soon tell that she was abducted and dragged into the woods by a strange man and her kicking hurt him and he dropped her. She then ran all the way home. This was age 5. At 12 she told that a man picked her up for a lift back from cleaning chicken eggs at a local farm (by then they'd moved to Nichols, NY). This man too tried to molest her. He passed the house and went into town, where at a redlight he reached for her and she jumped from the car, running free. At age 16, she told that her own father, my loving and so kind Grandpa forced her to remover her top when weeding the garden with him so he could watch her. She also filled people's minds with the idea that he'd molested her by crawling into bed with her when she was between the ages of 4 and 8. Lies. Let me just say that NOW. My Grandpa wouldn't EVER lay a hand on anyone in that way. He AND my Grandma were such good and loving parents to her and Grandparents to me. She lied. Period.
When she had her first child, she told that her brother, my Uncle Bill, molested my sister. And had my sister at age two or three agree to what she said. My poor Grandmother had to confront my Uncle and nothing was ever said about it again. Yeah. Because it NEVER happened. He was and still is the nicest guy. Good daddy to his two girls and a really precious uncle. Did so much for my parents too even after this lie. He's a forgiving person. Huh. Psychopaths have to be surrounded by them.
Her own son was found playing doctor with another sister of mine and she spread all over the family that my brother is now a child molester. He ran away years later at 15, never to return. You can't tell me that other families haven't found little kids playing doctor. It was nothing like she kept telling.
When I married my wonderful husband and had three beautiful children she tried to ruin my mind with holding over my head the story of Not Without My Daughter. The abduction of the Arab children. Oh, she was so sure my husband was going to abduct my kids. I kept telling her he is not like that. He enjoys seeing his children happy. He couldn't ever do something so devastating to his own children. I spent all my visits at my parent's place defending him for years. But it wasn't because she really thought he would do this, it was to see me upset and defensive. Eventually, she was hoping maybe he would do it and then I would be destroyed. But this was the preamble. My father would just leave the table and go to bed. She'd go on in to long hours of the night with this and other discussions about Arabs and Jews, and why the Arabs were all wrong and Israel was all right. I could describe to her Palestinian school children being blown to bits by Israel when walking out of the school, and her unwavering and unequivocal response was "Well, maybe they shouldn't have tossed those stones over the fence." Yeah. Totally blank.
On the flip side of this.... while I was driving home with the kids the next day, she was lying to my dad about our conversations. Making me out to be the psycho. She spent a good 25 years convincing him that not only me, but all of their children were crazy, stupid, and DIDN'T LOVE HIM. He believed about everything she said finally. AND THAT WAS THE PAYOFF.
That and my black depression the year of his illness that took his life. She'd succeeded in destroying even the last threads my dad and I had to hold us together and he wasn't strong enough to fight her. I did about lose my mind. And she did enjoy that time very much. But you all know my dad was the hero in the end who called for me from his deathbed to save my life. And he did. She could have killed us all that week. My dad, me, and all my siblings.
This psychopath got the power from being able to destroy her father, her brother, her mother, her husband until his last tortured breath (details in other blogposts), and each and every one of their children including my two sisters, my brother, and myself.
One sister and our brother are not recovering. My other sister and myself are in recovery. We are lucky really to not be psychopaths or narcissists. What we are dealing with is enough.. but it is possible to recover. That's the amazing thing. One can be destroyed and still come back.
If we weren't no contact with the NM, our recovery would be open season for a remake. NM would be spinning the lies, and she may be right now just in case she's sees either of us again, in order to get that all powerful high. That's what's in it for the sociopath. Power.
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