In moving on, life has brought me to a safe, warm, welcoming place in my mind and in my soul. If I got here, anyone can.
On the left is a photo of my son at age four in Egypt. He is now 26 years old. My first born. The one who paved the way, and while he got the most of my time and energy, he shouldered my mistakes.
Still, he's a wonderful person - full of energy, life, and love. He loves deeply, and his heart is so pure - he is as generous a person as my father... the late great Joseph Wheeler. His sense of humor is terrific, and he lights up the room with his smile.
He is making his way in life in Maryland these days.
Sweet Sarah Jasmine, the baby, is now 20 - going on 21, and living on her own also. She attends a local university for international studies and languages. Always my Miss Beise, snuggle buggle... I love her, too, like crazy. She is clever, spoiled, and a feisty ball of energy - she is finding her way in life too. But she's always welcome to drop by home to recharge her batteries and fill a grocery bag or two ;) She never ceases to amaze me at how much insight she has about the world... and also interactions and behaviors of individuals. I am confident she will escape ever being used and or abused in her life. Sarah keeps her deepest feelings safe - but for her father, brothers, and myself... we know she also loves deeply.
My husband just returned from another of our annual home visits in Cairo. He was there this time for just over a month. Had a great time and I think he also recharged his batteries there ;) Time with his mom and family... time at the beach with his brother.... finally a full rest from his never ending work schedule in the USA. It's so good having my best friend home. My safe place to fall. My sweet, good, kind, precious husband. I love how he tells me the truth - I can count on his response in bouncing things off from him - he tells me what he thinks... not necessarily what he thinks I want to hear. He's also a great life teacher for me. I learned everything about life being with him for the last 27 years. I love him so much.
I thought it appropriate to share my family with you all for my first post since moving on from my pathological primary family is now officially complete.
My primary family choose to exist in a negative, stagnant bubble.. all their own. There isn't a member who has taken the opportunity to grow emotionally. They each have decided to remain damaged ... all victims of our psychopath mother.
I found that if you really want to - you can get better. You can grow emotionally - you can take every opportunity there is over a lifetime to do so. I wanted this for me and I went for it. It did take a lifetime to get it, but it is worth it. To feel this free now... to enjoy life and loved ones free of the negative tapes - is an immeasurable joy. I know great love and I have known great grief. I choose to feel, and I can choose what thoughts to entertain.
I don't have to be prisoner if I decide not to be. The mindprisonerofnarcissists IS FREE NOW :)
No comments:
Post a Comment